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Click here to post a commentTue. 05/20/08 01:11 PM
Thanks for the great article Robert, and all who commented.
dad4life, petoskey, MI
Tue. 05/20/08 04:30 AM
Fight the good fight! I lost the costodial battle because I was suddenly single and didn't have anybody to watch my kids while I was at work. My ex, however, had a bf that was living with her. She moved him in WHILE I was still in the house!
It's so much easier for a woman to get another man than it is for a man to get another woman. To prove my point just look at how many more guys show up at bars just because it's "ladies' night". Many guys just don't care if the woman has kids or not.
Me, I was very blessed to meet a woman whom I later married. She treated my kids as if they was her very own. It takes a lot of patience for a father today.
kujo313, Wayne, MI
Mon. 05/19/08 11:06 PM
SaveAGolfer makes a valid point. One of the key reasons that the FOC is so bloated is because they have improperly made every case, a government welfare case. The system was never meant to do this. By applying some common-sense principles to child custody, like fit parents being equally involved in their own children's lives, will reduce the caseload in the foc so they can focus more clearly on needy families and cases where abuse and neglect are occurring.
Michigan needs equal parenting to help cut the government budget, shrink the foc, and focus more clearly on cases that really need help.
What I am seeing now is that many single-parents want to keep the hold on the steep financial benefits that are costing taxpayers billions:
1. Tax Credits for control of the child are shifted to the taxpayer instead of to a parent that can be equally involved.
2. Child Support Credits are involved even when a parent wants to be equally involved, putting a strain on government resources and caseload. The poor are falling through the cracks.
3. Welfare Benefits are costing taxpayers billions because instead of being with a parent, children are shifted to government sponsored day care programs.
You can see the motivation behind parents that want to remain single-parents because they benefit from not cooperating with the other parent, despite both being fit, willing, and available. We need to fix this ASAP and save the taxpayers and save the children.
Lary Holland
Host and Producer of Get Off The Bench
Getyourjusticelive.com
Family Court Reports: Lary Hol, Waterford, MI
Mon. 05/19/08 10:54 PM
Robert:
A true parent does what is necessary. You show the determination and motivation to make this physically exhausting and mentally draining trek to be a prime example of what must be done to bring this abuse of children into the public eye.
Trek on!!
PhillipW., Hastings, MI
Mon. 05/19/08 10:30 PM
I agree with the person below. This issue should be a case by case basis. So many factors need to be taken into consideration before deciding on a definite all around rule. If joint custody is ruled for an individual case, I don't think the father should be stuck with making child support payments. Joint custody is just that. When she has the kids, she flips the bill. When he has the kids, he flips the bill.
BuisnessIdeas, Warren, Mi
Mon. 05/19/08 10:20 PM
Chris,
"Donuts with Dudes" is an amazing effort and I was blown away by the number of good and caring dads, like your self, who showed up and participated in loving and nurturing their children.
We need to have this sort of participation in every school district in the state, I believe it's just a matter of time before we do.
Keep up the phenomenal work!
Larry H, Farmington, MI
Mon. 05/19/08 08:41 PM
Ca N8TV,
Your comment brings up a very intriguing issue that speaks volumes about the Michigan FOC machinery.
About a year and a half ago, shortly after the divorce was announced, I took a 2nd job (the 1st attorney said no problem, the 2nd attorney correctly pointed out that the 2nd job can in fact be used to impute additional support).
In any event, shortly after taking on the 2nd job, I got an Income withholding notice showing that FOC was duplicating my support withholdings with my 2nd employer.
When I called FOC, they told me that they would process the rescission of the IWN in a week or two, and that they can legally withhold up to a full month of support in advance, so there was nothing wrong with their duplicate withholding (I was already ahead at the time).
More appalling was the pair of excuses that the FOC employee gave me (1) it's not their fault, it's a computer in Detroit, and (2) they assumed that I had left an $880 a week job and took a $300 per week job to avoid paying child support, and said I was assuming the worst when I told them they had no right or authority to issue the 2nd IWN. Only after telling the caseworker to look at my file and tell me that my primary employer hadn't met my current month's obligations and pointing out that it was "They" who were assuming the worst, that I got an apology and a rescission of the IWN the very next week.
Oh, as far as possible support for the 2nd job, the company got bought by a New York firm, and all of the Michigan jobs were terminated a week after Michigan passed their new business taxes, so no legal basis for inclusion of that job in imputing income.
Robert Kerr, Lansing, mi
Mon. 05/19/08 05:52 PM
Whoa!!! Hold on here..I took my daughter , who is 14.In front of Judge Richard Skutt. She told him she wanted to live with me in Livonia. The mother stays in River Rouge.
By the way I did that at my daughter's request. I know better to file and just go down there.
He then told me just because the school system is better, the area I lived in was better, that nothing under Michigan law can make that happen. And that my daughter was just being a kid and did not know what she wanted. Then they messed up my support and it went from 177 per week too 332 a week. And I lost my home do to forecloser. Keep dreaming suckers....Unless you get 100,000 guys to say where not voting for a Governor regardless if there a D or R. Nothing will happen..
savagegolfer, Livonia, MI
I sincerely feel for you. This is so common and I hear about cases like this daily. It is very common for "mistakes" to be made by the FOC. Request accounting statements on a frequent basis. Thanks for your comment. Robert Pedersen
Mon. 05/19/08 05:01 PM
Are we assuming all people are good people or good parents? Custody should be decided case by case. What if one parent was addicted to drugs, sex, alcohol, or had an anger management problem, was vindictive or even a psychopath. Psychopaths are very difficult to diagnose. People who advocate automatic joint custody apparently live in a fantasy world. This is not in the best interest of the children.
Tulip, Clarkston, Mi
If you read the bill the shared parenting would be for fit and willng parents only. With claims such as above a fitness hearing would settle the situation. Those who think the current system is healthy for children, parents and society are the ones living in a fantasy world. According to Michigan's FIA non-custodial parents are receiving only 15% of the time with their children. Depriving a child of their other fit and willing parent is child abuse. Equal Parenting for both fit and willing parents is not only best for society but also for those who are affected most - the children! "Father-deprivation is a serious form of child abuse that is institutionalized and entrenched within our legal system. Powerful sexist people in Canada have a vested interest in diminishing the role of men, especially their role as fathers. Research proves that children thrive with the active and meaningful participation of both biological parents, and is true even for post-divorce families." (Dick Feeman, Joseph Maiello, Mike Jebbet, "Child Custody or Child Abuse", Victoria Times-Colonist, Jan 8, 1998). "By presuming joint custody as early as possible in the court process, parties are impelled to attend to the child's needs, thereby encouraging mature behavior and discouraging divisive, childish conflict. Shared parenting with mutual responsibility -- joint custody -- is in the best interest of the child, parents, society, and the court system. Those courts can assist the parents in settling their own disagreements by providing a context for negotiation and helping to mold specific child-centered joint custody agreements." (Potash, Marlin S., Ph.D. : Psychological Support for a Rebuttable Presumption of Joint Custody : Probate Law Journal, Vol. 4, 17, 1982) Boys in joint custody were significantly better adjusted than boys in sole custody (Pojman, 1982) Joint custody fathers were significantly more involved than sole custody fathers and indicated less court use (Bowman, 1983) Children were "thriving", not just "adjusting" in JMC (Roman & Haddad, 1978); Children in single mother custody show significant behavior problems (Touliatos & Lindholm, 1980) In comparative tests, joint custody boys were better adjusted than maternal custody boys. (Shiller, 1984) Children whose parents shared residential care of the child were rated better adjusted by their mothers. (Cowan, 1982) Parents with joint physical custody are less likely to litigate than parents with only joint legal custody. Joint custody parents are less likely to litigate when they are must bargain in the shadow of a strong joint custody statute. (Alexander, Ilfeld, & Ilfeld, 1982) Joint custody awards appear particularly beneficial to mothers. (Hanson, 1986) When parents were asked to imagine themselves in one of three custody situations, the sole custody arrangement when compared to the joint custody one encouraged punitive behavior and concern for self-interest. (Patrician, 1984) Fewer joint custody cases than sole custody cases were relitigated. (Phear, Bech, Hauser, Clark, & Whitney, 1984) Children from joint custody families were more satisfied with time spent with each parent than children from sole custody families. (Welsh-Osga, 1981) Negative feelings are intensified for children in sole custody families. (Karp, 1982) Of 28 families mediated into joint custody over their sole custody wishes, none returned to court for litigation. Joint custody awards over the objection of one parent have proven successful. (Irving, Benjamin, & Trocme, 1984). Just to name a few.
Mon. 05/19/08 12:59 PM
Please take about 1 minute and answer this 9 question Michigan Child Custody Survey. This data can be used to establish a baseline of experiences with Michigan's child custody system, and if enough people respond, this can help the cause of reform.
DougDante, Detroit, MI
Excellent idea Doug. Thanks for commenting. Robert Pedersen
Mon. 05/19/08 10:52 AM
It is clear and evident that the child support system has failed children. The motivation to keep parents and family separated from their children so the State can collect more federal funding is not in the best interest of the children. If you know of one custodial or non-custodial parent that believes the FOC system is working, please be recognized.
jms43rad, Lake Orion, MI
Amen. Robert Pedersen
Mon. 05/19/08 10:49 AM
I am a Divorced Father of two boys, When I went through the process all I wanted was for my sons to be with there Father. I was able to obtain Joint custody and wouldnt change it for the world. However, it is hard sometimes but as anything in life you make sacrafices for the things you want, and my sons with me, knowing that knowmatter what, there Dad, is always able and available for them. The Schedule that I set up was Sun- wed afternoon there with me and Every other Sat. Not living in the District anymore is tuff but I drive and pick them up everyday 30 min each way just to maintain my arraingment, and I am the one who the Teacher calls when there's a problem. I have and always will maintain how important my children are to me. I think what you are doing is a wonderful thing if its something that is in the best interest of the Kids(case by case basis) but it should be available right away, then decide at a later date if its not suitable for the situation. Remember its not about the Mother or the Father, Its about the Kids, and what is best for them.
Aaron Eckhout (586) 453-9529 Eckhout4@yahoo.comAaronEckhout, Macomb Twp., MI
Mon. 05/19/08 10:45 AM
Robert,
I believe you are doing a wonderful thing for all of the non custodial parents who were forced to be separated from their children by the FOC and 'family' court system.
Everyone on both sides of the issue should stop and think about what is truly happening with children of divorce. I believe that equal parenting for children of divorce should be the standard and then have a system in place that addresses the real cases of abuse, violence, or abandonment.
The double standard by which the FOC and the courts operate as well as the stereotype of the so called 'dead beat' parent needs to be stopped and the overall system needs to be redone.
I strongly believe what you are doing is so very important and for that you have our admiration, support, and respect.
God speed dear sir.
Regards,
M. Rhodes
MisterMark, Battle Creek, MI
Thank you for your kind words Mark.
Mon. 05/19/08 08:40 AM
Thanks Robert. Any idea when it will be released nationwide?
S Hopkins, Kalamazoo, MI
Scott - it is being rolled out on a state by state basis. I am currently working on getting it here in Michigan as soon as possible. The filmmaker is one of the most kind people you will ever meet.
Mon. 05/19/08 08:20 AM
I appreciate that you are making us aware of this educational tool. A movie that will explain how corrupt and wrong a system can be to the children of divorced parents. This needs to be shown to teenagers as well as adults. Our sex education classes and schools across our country need to prepare our children for this possible tragedy. About half the students in classes today are faced with ever lasting problems including suicides that our judicial system placed upon them.
Equal parenting will do alot to solve this problem.
Henry P, South Bend, IN
Yes! It is a tragedy and many feel that this could never happen to them or that their spouse would never turn down this road. Reality shows that they do expecially when attorneys get in the mix. Great point. Robert Pedersen
MichDads
